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San Diego Mortician Used Testicles From Cadavers In Place Of Traditional Meatballs To Help Win A Spaghetti Cook-Off

November 29, 2022 Bonine 0
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San Diego, CA – Carson Miller (41), has been a participant in San Diego annual spaghetti cook-off for the last 12 years. In those dozen years, the highest he had placed was 2nd and Carson knew that 2nd place was just the first loser. For 2022 and lucky contest number […]

Houston Man Arrested With Condoms Full Of Heroin In His Buttocks, Blames Bad Mexican Food.

November 14, 2022 Bonine 0
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Houston, Texas- Pete Bustamonte (33) went to the hospital late last night because he was experiencing terrible stomach pains. The doctors asked the routine questions and when they asked, “Have you eaten lately that you think may have caused this pain?”, Bustamonte responded with, “Well I just got back from […]

Elon Musk Sends Cryotanks Filled With His Sperm Into Space For Other Intelligent Life To Study And Use

February 25, 2022 Bonine 0
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Houston, TX- Elon Musk has launched his sperm into space. Not surprised? Neither are we. The megalomaniac has been using Spacex rockets to scatter these cryotanks all over space and into unknown universes. Apparently Musk has long held to the idea that there is life, intelligent life other than our […]

Man Puts Parents In Wood Chipper For Making Him Ginger

January 10, 2022 Bonine 0
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Roscoe Miller (27) of Needles California never had it easy. The only child of two librarians Ben and Barbara Miller, he was mercilessly made fun of for his red hair and vibrant red complexion. For whatever reason kids are assholes and will make fun of anyone who may look different. […]

Woman Thrown Out Of Court For Audibly Breaking Wind With Her “Unkept” Vagina

December 26, 2021 Bonine 0
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Seattle, WA- Lisa Blockledder, was in court this past week to answer questions in regards to the crime of robbery she was arrested for. Every time the prosecutor would ask Ms. Blockledder a question, the defendant would queef (Fart from the vagina). To the question; “Is your name Lisa Blockledder?”, […]

Human Meat Was This Mans Answer To The Rising Costs Beef Jerky

November 21, 2021 Bonine 0
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Butte, MT- Leander Gomes loves beef jerky. Let that not be an understatement, beef jerky was served as part of dinner at his wedding. He loves jerky! But with the rising costs of Beef, Leander was gonna have to figure out another way to feed his desires. “I couldn’t afford […]

Man Caught With Over 500,000 Individual Pubic Hairs. Police Believe He Was Planning To Leave Them Behind At Crime Scenes

November 17, 2021 Bonine 0
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Los Angeles, CA- Lester Franzes is an average everyday dude. He works at AAA as a Vacation advisor, though not many people go that route anymore. He takes great pride in the work he does even if no one else seems to appreciate it. He lives in a somewhat large […]

After Hearing Barbara Walters’ Final Words, Whoopi Goldberg And Rosie O’Donnell Rekindle Their Love Affair

October 31, 2021 Bonine 0
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Barbara Walters spoke her final words to Whoopi Goldberg and Rosie O’Donnell via zoom a few nights ago. She hoped the the two would stop fighting and make up. “You belong together ladies. I feel it deep inside me. Love each other without limits”. Taken aback, Rosie and Whoopi reflected […]

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