Montecito, CA- Former landscape artist Clyde Treadwell (52) was watching the Wednesday night news to see if his numbers were winners in this weeks lotto. His divorce was finalized yesterday and tonight he was in a foul mood. Clyde went to the fridge to grab a Steel Reserve and sat […]
Houston, TX- Melissa Sanchez (28) has been served emergency annulment papers from the state of Texas. The annulment ends the marriage immediately and both sides are free to go their separate ways. Melissa was married to Larry Banks (30) for less that 48hrs before he sought to end the marriage. […]
Los Angeles, CA- Clark Smitts (44), was arrested after getting involved in a kerfuffle with Pop Star Britney Spears. Smitts has a known history of stalking and pestering Spears as well as several other celebrities. His “dream” was to just give her a “hug”. Spears was leaving a Gelson’s market […]
Washington, DC- Kurt Fellows (67), is being held by the Secret Service at an undisclosed location after a shipment containing close to 1000 previously used sex toys (dildos) arrived at the Whitehouse addressed to President Biden. The letter attached to the shipment said, “Since you like to fuck all of […]
Los Angeles, CA- Veronica Williams (27) is in Los Angeles County Jail tonight awaiting her arraignment for attempted armed robbery and aggravated assault in the 3rd degree. Veronica was arrested late last night after a call for help came in from a liquor store she had just tried to rob. […]
Humble, TX- Courtney Vanhousen (31), was picked up by Humble Police after a frantic call came in from the high school where she taught. The caller said that she was performing “sex acts” in front of her students. Ms. Vanhousen has been a Sexual Education teaching for the past 5 […]
Sugarland, TX- Chase McKinney (26), is recovering in a Houston based hospital. Chase was the recipient of a horse penis and his surgery was the first time attaching a horse penis onto a human was a success. Chase had what was referred to as a “micro penis”. A micro penis […]
Miami, Florida- A ghostly pale man riding a horse drew attention on the beaches of Miami. A lifeguard thought he’d talk to the man since it was obvious he didn’t spend much time at the beach and wanted to make sure he would be cautious if he went into the […]
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