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Month: December 2022

MAN WINS LOTTERY THE DAY AFTER HIS DIVORCE BECOMES FINAL. CELEBRATES WITH COCAINE AND HOOKERS

December 30, 2022 Bonine 0
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Montecito, CA- Former landscape artist Clyde Treadwell (52) was watching the Wednesday night news to see if his numbers were winners in this weeks lotto. His divorce was finalized yesterday and tonight he was in a foul mood. Clyde went to the fridge to grab a Steel Reserve and sat […]

Man Granted Emergency Annulment (Divorce) After He Discovers His New Wife Uses Ketchup On Steak

December 28, 2022 Bonine 0
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Houston, TX- Melissa Sanchez (28) has been served emergency annulment papers from the state of Texas. The annulment ends the marriage immediately and both sides are free to go their separate ways. Melissa was married to Larry Banks (30) for less that 48hrs before he sought to end the marriage. […]

Britney Spears Kicks Stalker In The Face And He Doesn’t Seem To Mind At All

December 26, 2022 Bonine 0
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Los Angeles, CA- Clark Smitts (44), was arrested after getting involved in a kerfuffle with Pop Star Britney Spears. Smitts has a known history of stalking and pestering Spears as well as several other celebrities. His “dream” was to just give her a “hug”. Spears was leaving a Gelson’s market […]

Man Sends 100’s Of Used Dildos To The Whitehouse Because, “Joe Biden Can Go F*ck Himself!”

December 24, 2022 Bonine 0
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Washington, DC- Kurt Fellows (67), is being held by the Secret Service at an undisclosed location after a shipment containing close to 1000 previously used sex toys (dildos) arrived at the Whitehouse addressed to President Biden. The letter attached to the shipment said, “Since you like to fuck all of […]

Woman Tries To Rob A Liquor Store Using Her Breast Milk As A Deadly Weapon.

December 23, 2022 Bonine 0
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Los Angeles, CA- Veronica Williams (27) is in Los Angeles County Jail tonight awaiting her arraignment for attempted armed robbery and aggravated assault in the 3rd degree. Veronica was arrested late last night after a call for help came in from a liquor store she had just tried to rob. […]

Popular Teacher Arrested After Demonstrating To Her Class What “Squirting” Is.

December 22, 2022 Bonine 0
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Humble, TX- Courtney Vanhousen (31), was picked up by Humble Police after a frantic call came in from the school she taught. The caller said that she was performing “sex acts” in front of her students. Ms. Vanhousen has been a Sexual Education teaching for the past 5 years and […]

Man Recovering After The First Successful Horse Penis Transplant Surgery

December 19, 2022 Bonine 0
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Sugarland, TX- Chase McKinney (26), is recovering in a Houston based hospital. Chase was the recipient of a horse penis and his surgery was the first time attaching a horse penis onto a human was a success. Chase had what was referred to as a “micro penis”. A micro penis […]

Amish Man Found Riding His Horse On A Miami Beach Admits To Eating His Family After Record Snowstorm Traps Them Inside Their Home.

December 7, 2022 Bonine 0
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Miami, Florida- A ghostly pale man riding a horse drew attention on the beaches of Miami. A lifeguard thought he’d talk to the man since it was obvious he didn’t spend much time at the beach and wanted to make sure he would be cautious if he went into the […]

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