Car Wax

Houston, TX- Walter Smith was drinking at his favorite bar Kegs Up! this past Friday night. Walter is a regular and is used to feeling right at home. On this particular night there was a new bartender Shelia who was closing for the first her time. She was not familiar […]

Dallas, TX- Peggy Saunders (33) is recovering at a local Dallas hospital after she was admitted the night before with a ruptured bladder. Peggy’s husband Greg set off an airhorn inside her vagina while she slept. At 129 decibels, airhorns can permanently damage your hearing. Peggy was to learn that […]

San Diego, CA- Rebecca Anderson (32) is currently sitting in the San Diego County jail after calling one of her 3rd grade students an asshole. Anderson was immediately terminated by the school board for the comments made to the 8 year old student. Anderson claims that it was only after […]

Modesto, CA- Eugenia Wilson is 111 years young today. She is the oldest recorded person to ever live in Modesto California and the question everyone wants to know is, “What is the secret to a long life?”. Without hesitation, Eugenia said, “A healthy diet of daily oral sex and whisky. […]

Lester Brown of Beaumont Texas has been arrested on charges of public indecency and masturbation by deception. Mr. Brown posed as a dairy cow during the local 4-H milking competition. Lester was milked by a total of 13 contestants before his ruse was uncovered. “I’m the best milker in 3 […]

Larry Gibbons of Houston Texas was at the courthouse early Wednesday morning for a hearing about his 2nd DUI. While waiting to see the judge, Larry started feeling a little agitated. Not able to leave the building for a smoke, he went to the bathroom with the intent of sneaking […]

Marvel Comics “Morbius” has received a lot of attention for being a horrible film. One fan of comic book movies took offense to the poorly scripted movie and decided to trash a warehouse that was holding copies of the movie set to be released next month. Apparently Hector is tired […]

Ruby Hughes (37) of Bakersfield California has been taken into police custody after calls came in from the local Walmart saying a woman was shitting in the self-checkout line. Reports from onlookers claim that while Ruby was checking herself out, the “please place item in bagging area” alert kept going […]