Bakersfield, CA- Scientists at the National Center For The Furtherment Of Cryptocurrency Studies, have had a tremendous breakthrough. They have unlocked the ability to use your brains passive electroconginial currents to solve complex algorithms which can and will earn you crypto! Depending on your IQ, you can earn upwards of […]
Butte, MT- Alex Cartwright (23) of Butte, went to impress his girlfriend by taking her to the levy and hopefully get to second base. Alex expected his levy dry and his woman wet. Instead They were swept away by a rogue wave and thrust deep into the levy. His Ol’ […]
Houtson TX- A local mortician Stewart Stump had been removing the testicles from men that passed through the funeral home he worked at. Stump would use the balls to make albondigas soup. This had been going on for years until Stump got careless and dropped a ball. The next morning […]
Darlene Mazinita (47) of Houston Texas, worked at Walmart for over 20 years. In that 20 years, the only time she received a raise is when the minimum wage increased and they were forced to pay her more. She did however receive several promotions that increased her responsibility but not […]
Thomasville Georgia- On Friday city officials voted in a ban on caffeine that would make the drug illegal to purchase or publicly consume on Sundays. Mayor Hubert Lacroix call the new law “a step in the right direction. As mayor I want us to move backwards to simpler times”. Good […]
Moscow Russia- In Russia they have discovered that there is in fact life after death. In a process called Congeneal Cognisent Cenerational Persistence (CCCP), scientists were able to tap into what they believe is the very essence of humans; their soul. The process requires a living volunteer to participate by […]
Belfast, Ireland- A record setting 45 foot tall seagull has landed on the shores of Ireland and so far this is the only known image of the great bird. Workers at the lighthouse sent out an SOS to all surrounding persons to immediately evacuate the area. Over 5,000 people have […]
Travis Detwiler (33) of Abilene Texas, had been on the run from the police for 2 weeks. Detwiler was wanted in connection with the theft of 33 car wheels from 33 different cars. His crimes tormented many an unsuspecting folk. Travis was always a good lookout because he could hear […]
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