Thomasville Georgia To Ban Caffeine On Sundays. Officials Call It “The Devil’s Drug”


Thomasville Georgia- On Friday city officials voted in a ban on caffeine that would make the drug illegal to purchase or publicly consume on Sundays. Mayor Hubert Lacroix call the new law “a step in the right direction. As mayor I want us to move backwards to simpler times”.

Good job mayor seems like your plan is working. No one would publicly speak out against the ban. There is a sense of fear in the community of what might be next. People are rushing to the donut shops to grab all they can before they too end up on the chopping block.

“i gots me some them caffeine pills. giggity giggity”

One man who would only speak to us under the condition of anonymity told us this: “This is becoming some twilight zone shit. Banning coffee on Sunday’s?! We already can’t buy condoms because ‘it promotes sexual promiscuity’. I really don’t understand why people want to live in the past”.

Stay tuned as I’m sure some granny is about to be arrested drinking coffee after church.

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