Chicago, Il- Reports have been released from the American Medical Association (AMA) that are sure to draw the ire of many Americans. Those reports reclassify any penis less than 5 inches in length as a clitoris. “Long known to everyone, penises are just overachieving clitorises. To better help our society, […]
Undertaker Ralph Gomez had been removing the testicles from men that passed through the funeral home he worked at. Gomez would use the balls to make albondigas soup. This had been going on for years until Gomez got careless and dropped a ball. The next morning his boss, Brent Couler, […]
Heathcliff Merrygold, better know as Heath, died earlier today from severe damage to his internal organs caused by the insertion of a garden hose in his anus and having it turned on full blast. Quickly his body bloated and the sight shocked his friends. One turned off the water but […]
McDonald’s routinely and randomly brings the McRib back to the delight of millions. Like many of today’s foods and conveniences, people are not sure how they’re made nor do they seem to care. “Tastes good to me”. Well, we at Daily News Reported did a little digging and this is […]
Jacksonville, FL- Vicky Soline (26) has wanted to work in the cosmetic industry ever since she can remember. She grew up putting makeup on all dolls and was constantly trying to push the envelope when it came to her own makeup. Vicky keeps a nice orange glow by spray tanning […]
Clive Owens knows he is lucky to have survived a potentially fatal car accident. On his way home from work, Clive swerved to avoid an animal on the road when he lost control of his vehicle. Then he broke through a guard rail and fell down a 20 foot embankment. […]
Simon Crestly’s son, Brandon lost his battle with cancer last week. Signs were looking good for his boy. His spirits were at an all time high. All over social media Brandon saw people rooting him on with “Let’s go Brandon” signs and memes. Or so he thought. Brandon learned that […]
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