The American Medical Association Reclassifies Any Penis Under 5 Inches As A Clitoris.

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Chicago, Il- Reports have been released from the American Medical Association (AMA) that are sure to draw the ire of many Americans. Those reports reclassify any penis less than 5 inches in length as a clitoris. “Long known to everyone, penises are just overachieving clitorises. To better help our society, which has an abundance of penises below 5 inches, this reclassification will help people get the correct care that they need in times of ill health”, said AMA president Gerald E. Harmon, M.D.

Doctors will now classify your penis for you at your next visit. “This is not something where we are going to take the word of the patient as fact. The doctor will decide if whether you have a penis or clitoris”, Harmon said. “This changes nothing but a classification as to what your phallic symbol is called. It does not mean you cannot use it as before. Again this is a purely medical decision for the benefit of all”, Harmon concluded.

People are sure to be in uproar over this reclassification, as any threat to someones “manhood” will have them quivering in their boots. Looks like giant pick-up trucks will be driven with dudes with clits from here on out. As far as our staff here at Daily News Reported, only the editor in chief measuring in at 3 and 1/2 inches will now have a clitoris.

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