Bloomington, IN- Carl Pennigan (36) is the state of Indiana’s newest millionaire after winning 7 million dollars in The Hoosier Lotto. This was the first good thing to happen to him in a long time.
Carl was married to his ex, Maggie for 10 years. Shortly after their 10th wedding anniversary, Carl discovered that she had been cheating on him virtually from the begining of their marriage. He was still wiping away tears when they signed the divorce paper work. His heart was broken.
Carl loathed waking up each morning knowing that at some point in the day he would remember what a cheating bitch he had married and all the years he had wasted on a lie. But on this particular morning, Carl could not wait to get the day started. Having won The Hoosier Lotto just days prior, Carl already had a plan of revenge set up for Maggie. The night before Carl borrowed a septic truck from his buddy who owns a septic pumping service. He made sure that the truck had not been emptied of its waste prior to his borrowing of it.
It was 5am when Carl left his house to head over to Maggie’s place. The septic truck was filled with 1500 gallons of waste. At 5:15am Carl backed onto her property and proceeded to dump the tank of waste directly onto her lawn. Sadly for Maggie and to the delight of Carl, waste also crept into her garage and other parts of her home. Carl pulled on the truck’s airhorn incessantly until a disheveled Maggie came outside to see what all the noise was all about. When Carl saw her appear, he grabbed the hose from the truck and sprayed waste directly onto her shocked face. Carl audibly giggled when a stream of shit went up her nose.
“The look on her face right before the shit water hit her, is only second to the joy I received when I found out I had won the lotto. I’ll pay my fines and do my time if need be, but I will forever remember this day!”, said a jovial Carl. Maggie was not available for comment at time of this writing.
The kerfuffle and ensuing commotion drew authorities to Maggie’s property where hazmat crews were called in to clean up the toxic mess. Carl faces several charges of assault and environmental pollution, and he must pay for the clean up. He has already posted a $10k bond and is looking forward to his time in court, “I want it to be on record what a piece of shit Maggie is. Any fines I have to pay, I will gladly do so”.