Camarillo, CA- Kimberly Caldwell (27), is in custody at the Ventura County Jail after being arrested for aggravated assault and 3rd degree theft. The assault charge stems from her tying a rope to her husbands balls and tying the other end to his pick-up before driving off. When his balls detached from his person, it was at that point prosecutors claim a theft occurred.
Frank Caldwell works for an offshore oil corporation out of Ventura California. Adding “Nuts” to their trucks is a popular trend among Frank and his co-workers. However the popularity of truck nuts is lost on Kimberly. She refused to go anywhere in a truck with nuts. Frank would take the nuts off and while they were out, he would reattach them giving her no choice but to ride in a truck with nuts if she wanted to go home.
In the early hours of August 10th, Kimberly attached a rope around her husbands scrotum with a snug knot. She took the other end of the rope and tied to to his truck’s trailer hitch. Without warning, she fired up his truck and headed down the street. About 15 feet of driving is all it took to rip his scrotum off his body, testicles and all.
Frank was wide awake in a nano-second. He jumped up and when he realized what happened he fell back down the ground in pain. His balls had been ripped off. Not one to see someone suffer needlessly, Kimberly called an ambulance and freely admitted to what she had done. Kimberly wanted it on the record that she ripped of his balls so he can have real truck nuts.
Kimberly and Frank are now separated. Since Frank’s injury, he can no longer maintain an erection. His testicles were last seen in and around a collection of stray cats. The search for his balls has officially been called off.