Stewart VonHildan (27) of Seattle Washington died suddenly this past weekend. A lifelong Vegan, Stewart was dared by a republican friend to eat a Big Mac and if he ate the burger the friend would renounce the republican party and burn all his red hats.
A staunch supporter of the left, Stewart had to take this opportunity to try and get his friend to see the light. He accepted the challenge and went to McDonalds and ordered a burger. He sat in the restaurant to eat and when he was finished he raced home expecting to have some stomach related bathroom issues and wanted to be close to his own toilet.
His friend indeed switched parties and burned all his red heads just like he said he would. This was great news for Stewart, who had been on the shitter the past 2hrs. Sadly, sometime during the night Stewart suffered a massive stroke that killed him instantly.
The medical examiner said, “The chemicals and preservatives in the Big Mac are deadly to someone who eats healthy. Overweight Alabama sweat-hogs are used to the junk in the food, hence ‘Junk Food’. Mr. VonHildan’s body was not ready for such a shock. That shocked triggered a massive stroke and he died as a result of eating that burger. No doubt in my mind”, said Dr. Patahoogan.
Friends and family say that Stewart would be happy knowing that his friend had switched parties and that the dangers of fast food would also be exposed at the same time. In lieu of flowers, donations of tofu can be made to the National Tofu Project of America (NTPA).