Former Mighty Ducks Star And His Life Of Drugs And Prostitution

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Shaun Weiss has hit rock bottom. He has hit rock bottom and dragged his ass on the ground like a dog scratching its butt. Drug addiction can affect anyone. It is not unusual to hear of child stars that turn to a life of crime and drugs. Drugs are Weiss’s way to cope with being attracted to German Shepards. A very small percent of Americans struggle with sexual desires for animals. It is a very taboo subject that not too many people speak of publicly.

To keep up with his rock cocaine habit, Weiss resorted to prostitution. “It’s a vicious cycle”, said Weiss. “At first all you want to do is enjoy the company of a healthy, well muscled German Shepard and next thing you know, you’re sucking dick behind McDonalds to pay for drugs”.

Early this morning he saw an ad on craigslist for someone needing a dog sitter for their German Shepard. When he showed up all disheveled and smelling of piss and beer, the owner of the dog called police and not a moment too soon as Mr. Weiss had a “raging boner” within seconds of seeing the dog. “Apparently this dude used to be an actor, but I don’t need him acting like a fool with his boner around my animal”, said the craigslist poster.

Police took him in for attempted first degree beastiality, unlawful exposer of a boner, public intoxication and pollution. Weiss faces up to 13 months in prison. Emilio Esteves was unavailable for comment at time of this writing.

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