George Zimmerman Found In Dumpster


Chicago, Il- george zimmerman (38) was found in a Chicago dumpster this morning by a homeless woman looking for food. Surveillance cameras show 2 maintenance men throwing what looked like a body wrapped in a comforter into the dumpster early Wednesday morning. Police tracked down the two men and listened to what they had say.

“We were finishing up our day at the hotel and on the ground next to the dumpster was an old comforter that smelled like shit. We figured it was old towels and blankets wrapped up and that housekeeping couldn’t lift it up and in, so we grabbed the bundle and tossed it in. That’s it. We had no idea a real piece of garbage was inside”, man #1 said.

Gerta Vanube found george. “I was looking for food in the dumpster outside the hotel. I’ve been able to find food there before so my hopes were high. I came across the comforter in question and although it smelled like an Alabama outhouse in summer, I opened it up and there was this disgusting mass of garbage that stunk worse than my coochie! Anyways, seeing him I lost my appetite and I decided not to eat today. He tried to ask for help out of the dumpster, but I could see in his eyes that he would betray me the second I helped him out”.

Authorities believe someone left zimmerman by the dumpster because they thought he was literal garbage. At the time of this writing george is still in the dumpster asking for help out.

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