A Man, Dual Wielding Raw Steaks, Slaps Diners In The Face At Vegan Restaurant Yelling; “If You Don’t Eat Your Meat, You Can’t Have Any Pudding!”


Ojai, CA- Clinton Brewer (73), has been arrested after assaulting close to one dozen people at a local vegan restaurant, Larry’s Secret Garden. Clinton was seen entering the restaurant during the dinner rush with raw steaks in each hand. He walked from table to table slapping people in the face with the bloody cuts of beef, yelling at each one of them, “‘If You Don’t Eat Your Meat, You Can’t Have Any Pudding! How Can You Have Any Pudding Is You Don’t Eat Your Meat?’“. He would repeat this over and over until has was stopped. It was somewhere around the 12th victim of his walk-by-slapping, when a good samaritan intervened by tackling and restraining him on the ground until authorities arrived.

Clinton, a life long resident of Ojai, has not been a fan of all the vegan restaurants popping up and taking over the city he loves. “Used to be a time you could choose from several different places to enjoy a steak on a Friday night. Now you’re lucky if you can find one. All these “meatless” options are silly, overpriced and Un-American. What about the folks that want some beef and don’t care for your unkept armpits and electric cars? Well the town I love doesn’t give a shit about us anymore!”, Clinton told our reporters via his jail cell.

Of the dozen or so victims of Brewer’s, 3 were sent to the local hospital with superficial wounds. Most of the injuries were of the emotional variety and all of the victims had a chance to speak with grief counselors. A candlelight vigil is planned for this coming weekend is hopes of raising positive vibes to heal the community.

Ojai police fear copycat crimes may start popping up and they asking the community to band together in solidarity against these “terroristic attacks”. Clinton Brewer is currently being held on $10,000 bail at Ventura County lockup while district attorneys determine just what charges should be brought up against him. Stay tuned to dailynewsreported.com for more on this story and the stories that matter most to you.

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