BREAKING NEWS: Man Gets Bit In Weiner By A Snake While Urinating In The Wilderness. His Brother Saves The Day By Sucking The Venom Out. Only To Later Find The Snake Was Nonvenomous

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Ojai, CA- While on a hike in Ojai California, Brothers Matt and Hugh Mangrel had an experience they will never forget. Matt was taking a leak off the side of the trail in some brush when out of nowhere a snake leapt upwards and grabbed hold of his penis. “That sumbitch latched on good, but I guess he didn’t like the taste and let go for whatever reason”, said Matt.

“So here I am dick hanging out with holes in it leaking blood. I turn around and there’s my brother. He must of heard the commotion. Anyways he starts freaking out about the venom and the need to get it out soon lest I succumb to it and die”. All of the sudden Hugh dropped to his knees and began sucking on his brother’s wounds to remove the venom. Matt tried to protest saying, “there must be another way!”. “Not enough time”, countered Hugh.

Hugh (left) and Matt (right) recounting their story with Daily News Reported

“So I closed my eyes and tried to picture a happy place. Pretty much impossible with your brother sucking on your dick”. After about 5 minutes of sucking, Hugh was satisfied he had gotten all the venom out. “Ya man, I sucked it dry”, a proud Hugh said.

“Anyway, we head to the local hospital and I get patched up. They ran some tests to check for venom and it turns out if it had been venomous there would be traces of it in my blood. There were no such traces. My Brother sucked on my dick for nothing. It’s a pretty humiliating experience, but we have received a call from the Dr. Phil show to share our experiences. So we got that going on for us”, said Matt.

Hugh was swabbed for venom in the mouth and throat. No venom was found there either. After a 24hr. observation, both brothers will be released. Lesson be learned everyone, know your snake or you too could be sucked off by your brother.

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