Bakersfield, CA- Melinda Weston (47), was arrested for assaulting her husband last night after he came home from work. The incident occurred when Melinda noticed her husband, Brent Weston, had brought home an 18 pack of Bud Light. According to Melinda, The couple had already agreed to start drinking Coors Light in place of Bud Light after the latter produced beer with transgender celebrity Dylan Mulvaney adorned on their cans.
“We had agreed to stop drinking that woke piss beer earlier this month. I can’t believe he actually walked up to our front door with that beer in his hands. What if our neighbors had saw him? They’d think we’re some closet woke folk and no way was I having that. I had to remind Brent that we don’t drink that shit no more by beating his ass. And that man crumbled under my fists. Didn’t even put up a fight. Took me almost 20 years to find out I married a pussy ass bitch”, Melinda told us via phone call.
Melinda is facing first degree assault charges due to the extensive injuries sustained by her husband. Her bail is currently listed at $75,000. Brent is scrambling to put together the bail money and has refused to talk to our reporters.