The Pirates Of The Caribbean Ride Shuts Down After Woman Defecates On Boat

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Disneyland, CA- In what can only be described as a disgusting turn of events, The Pirates Of The Carribean ride is closed until further notice after a woman shat all over one of the boats on the ride and in the water as well.

All was going on great this past Saturday for Linda Jansen (33) of Mont Clair, until she got a sick feeling in her stomach while riding Pirates at Disneyland. She had just finished a nice lunch with her family before getting on the ride. The first drop on the ride gave her a little motion sickness and upset her stomach. Thinking nothing of it she was determined to enjoy herself.

Anticipation and anxiety caused her stomach to feel even stranger. Thinking a fart may relieve some pressure, she lifted her right buttcheek to let one out and boom! From underneath her skirt came an avalanche of shit that covered the bottom of the boat. Excitedly she jumped up to survey the scene. Then came another swooping drop on the ride and bam! She shat again. This time most of it got in the water.

Disney employees were alerted to contamination in the water and quickly shut the ride down. Boats were emptied where they stood and guest were escorted out through emergency exit doors throughout the ride. Humiliated and covered in shit, Linda was brought to a shower and given a fresh set of Disney sweats.

Linda’s family vows to never let her live down having The Pirates Of The Carribean ride close because she shit all over the place.

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