Will Henderson works at a customer service call center. His job alone can cause stress and nightmares of unnatural proportion. Long hours and no real incentives make getting a through a day a complete nightmare. Lunch is the only time of the day that Will enjoys. Will is an above average cook and always make a delicious homemade lunch for himself. The problem is that his co-workers have discovered his culinary skills and they have taken to pecking at his lunch in the break room refrigerator. One day someone outright took his lunch and ate it for himself.
These thefts of his lunch had to stop, but how? It was on a Sunday before the work week started when Will got an idea. “I was making pizza from scratch. Dough and all. I had spent a lot of time preparing and making the pizza. My plan was to bring the leftovers for lunch the next day. Only problem is that someone at my work always steals my pizza. Not just a bite, but the whole damn lunch. I needed to spice things up for my devious co-worker”.
And spice things up he did! Will gathered up some dried ghost-peppers and ground them into a fine dust. Will proceeded to saturate his lunch for the next day in ghost-pepper dust. This would surely help reveal who the thief is and also provide some much needed workplace entertainment.
It’s mid morning on Monday and Will is looking forward to his lunch in about an hour when all hell starts to break loose. There’s a commotion coming from the break room. Steve, a co-worker and friend of Will’s is retching but nothing is coming up and his face is so red it’s starting to turn purple. Steve cannot speak and his nose and eyes are leaking fluids at a breakneck pace. Steve is the workplace jokester who also doubles as Will’s best work bud, so it came as a surprise to Will that his own buddy was stealing his food all this time.
Paramedics are called in to help Steve. After 45 long minutes Steve is able to talk and explain what happened. “Man, I just ate one piece of Will’s pizza. I ate it fast as to not be seen. About 4 seconds after swallowing the last bit of pizza, I started feeling incredible pain radiate up and down my throat. My mouth felt like a grenade had gone off. It became impossible to see and breathe through my nose. I though I was going to die”. Police came to interview witnesses and get a better understanding of what took place. Will was arrested, booked and released all within the same night. Steve will not be pressing charges.
Will and Steve eventually found common ground again. And from that day on no one ever fucked with Will’s food again. Ever. In fact once a month Steve takes Will out to lunch as an apology of sorts for all the partially eaten lunches.